Diary of a Spirit Doula
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No Longer Split in Half: A Year of Self Acceptance
At the end of 2024, I sent that dramatic announcement that my doula business was closing. At the time, it felt true. I was exhausted by versions of work that didn’t honor my actual capacity or the fullness of my gifts.
What I didn’t know yet was that I wasn’t being asked to leave birth work behind—I was being asked to come back to it differently. Standing where I am now, it’s clear that this year wasn’t about starting over... it was about returning, with more honesty.
What Does it Mean to "Honor Your Body's Wisdom?"
When it comes to childbirth, "your body was made for this" is not the same as "your body holds the wisdom you need."
The first one upholds an unrealistic (and honestly ableist) standard that leaves people feeling broken when their body deviates from this over-generalization.
The latter statement honors the codes of ancestral wisdom alive in your DNA and aims to empower your ability to trust yourself in naming what is best for you—whether you're at home, at a hospital, medicated or not, uninterrupted or with medical interventions.
Schooled by the Spirits: More Lessons in Self-Trust
I asked the spirits if a baby was in my client’s path and the answer was a very loud “No.”
My inner people-pleaser was shaking in her boots, but after 4+ years of intentionally developing my mediumship, I knew I had to do what I was hired to do: trust myself.
3 Things I'd Do BEFORE Becoming A Mother
Most people I’ve talked to express conflicted feelings about childbirth. There’s an inner pull, an assumption even, that birthing and motherhood are inevitable in their path but it’s always been paired with deep fears.
There’s fear of childbirth itself: the pain, uncertainty, and logistics required birthing within medical and political systems. Then there’s also fears rooted in the common wounds of our human experience: self doubt, fractured familial relationships, the future of the world.
The Birth Realm: Kiernan’s Story
When I first began utilizing energy work in my doula practice, I started with what I knew then: distance Reiki sessions to offer my clients a restful space to clear outside influences and connect with their own intuition, desires, and for the pregnant, their babies. Typically a client would hop on our Zoom call, share a little about how they've been feeling, what fears around birthing have been coming up, & what decisions they needed support talking through.
Everyone Deserves a Doula
I want to share this piece I wrote for Nevada County Citizens for Choice. I’m a birth doula in San Francisco, but I was invited to contribute to their quarterly reproductive rights advocacy newsletter! This was published last Fall and a friend reminded me that I probably should have shared the article that describes exactly what I and other birth doulas and fullspectruma doulas do!